day 7: stuck

“how long does it take to create a new habit?” i asked this of dr. google and quite a range of answers came up in my results. some folks say 21 days.  others say roughly two months. yet others say anywhere between 18 and 254 days.

according to a blog post written by a trained neuroscientist and psychologist, brian king, there are too many factors in the creation of habit to give the thing a number. to begin with, there is a difference between a “habit,” or a habitual behavior, a small thing we do without thinking, and a more complicated series of behaviors that require thought, like a daily meditation, exercise, or writing practice.

and also (and here’s the kick), there is the reality of reward. unhealthy habits often stick quickly because they feel so damn good, and the feeling is immediate. healthy behaviors often take some time to render that boost. be that as it may, the reward is a factor in the success of a new habit or practice, and that makes perfect sense to me, this seventh day of my new practice of writing to you.

writing, in and of itself, is rewarding to me. it is a practice in organization and clarity, in introspection and expression. i am always thinking about writing. the words never stop. but the real reward is in your responses. i write to connect and understand, not just myself, but you. so today, i am going to reach for the gift of your own thoughts, because i really want to know them.

so if you’re out there, here’s what i wonder about you…

when it comes to saying what needs to be said, where do you get stuck the most?

at work?

with family?

with friends?