Yester-You

Happy Monday Kids,

As a new week begins, I share a post I read recently on a popular coaching company’s page, one that got a bunch of applause, hearts, and thumbs-ups. It’s been bugging me a bit, though. It goes like this:

“If you look back and cringe, it’s because you’ve grown.”

At some given point in my life – or better said, up until a certain point in my life – these words would have resonated and I would have whole-heartedly clicked on that clap-emoji myself. Of course, I’ve looked at my own past and cringed. And really, Fellow Introspectors [new word], how can one face some of those spectacularly misguided chapters and not say, “What in the actual hell was I thinking?”

Even further, I’ve been known to say and hear, “I’m glad I’m not that person anymore.” Many of us want to shed not just the Pain, Shame, and Guilt, but the entire person who allowed them all to take a seat or an extended vacation in our lives. Yes, maybe a visceral rejection of those old ways is indeed a sign of emotional growth. It is, at least, a step in a healthier direction.

But it doesn’t end there. “I cringe, therefore I grow” is the not the final statement on emotional evolution. I offer at least one other this fine day.

I recognized it recently when I was moving old photos into a new box and saw Yester-Me in all her fluffy glory. An unexpected feeling hit. It was…protective. I found that when I looked at her, I softened. Despite the painful parts and her/my role in it, rejecting or denying her/me felt like an extension of the same things that hurt her/me in the first place. Cringing, denying, rejecting felt unkind. I wanted to embrace her.

On this hopeful Monday afternoon, I extend that kindness to Yester-You while you find it in Today-You. Enough cringing, beloved. If you look back and forgive, it’s because you’ve grown.